Win a Yen-friendly mortgage for pennies!

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hi everyone, I have to get business news out of the way first in order to be ready for A. Staengl's important meeting tomorrow, so here it is: Crying Helicopters stock has split YET AGAIN, what on the face of Pele-sama are we shareholders going to do with all of this surplus wealth?

Auntie Nantoka proposes an intriguing solution: Why do we not simply stuff all the profits inside of a Jumbo Mortgage? This Jumbo Mortgage will look good with all our other collective credentials, and who knows...having a Jumbo Mortgage JUST MIGHT be enough of a humor source to bring certain space aliens into realms they were due to visit LONG, long ago.

If you are looking to help secure a Jumbo Mortgage for the Shouseki Family Library (which is looking forward to the birth of some very special babies SOON) please note that they carry a $3 million price tag. If you have half that in Yen already, stick around...you might just win yourself half a library the easy way. If you have one-millionth of that amount in United States dollars, stick around, also. You too could win a free library.

Now I am going to tell you a very pretty truth about the realm known as Katuah to some, and a literal heaven to others, and a profit source to those who choose to frame themselves within the special Hell that is Anti-Katuah Sentiment. (Please note that I am not judging you at all if you are now, or have been guilty at any time, of spreading Anti-Katuah Sentiment around.)

Many highly practical truths and aesthetic treasures have been buried by this ugly glop, but luckily lots of special books have been put together to guide folks through the sometimes confusing process of understanding sacred realms versus raping them.

Now before I can begin telling this tale I need someone smart to count up how many pennies we have earned for our Jumbo Mortgage. Then I need another smart someone to find out how many Yen our Jumbo Mortgage is worth when our tale begins, and then the second smart someone should give us a figure which gives both the time elapsed since the beginning of the tale, and the velocity with which the United States dollar devalues itself against the Yen. If two little Someones could provide me with this math, or some art which illustrates the concepts described above, LOTS and LOTS of Ninja School Certificates will be dispensed this Autumn.

And so our tale begins...

Mu-Kaaaaaaaa-shi Mukashi, way back in the day of one Forever ago, il y'avait une toute petite Nantoka qui s'appelait Antrolana-sama. Et kono Antrolan-sama wa ne. Ma ne. Yasashii hito desu yo. Yasashii ke do, every hito does have their breaking point.

Now this Antrolana-sama lived in the Umi, when Katuah was covered with one. Human visitors to this still-sacred realm can find rocks that are made out of the bodies of Antrolana-sama's ancestral neighbors in the Umi that used to cover Katuah. (An ocean still covers this realm, of course, but the ocean back then was one of actual water, and not just ikigai.)

Shellfish, sponges, and many other life forms shared Antrolana-sama's ancestral neighborhood in the sea. Then the seas of water receded, and the Antrolana people sought out the shelter they could and adapted to cooler, less salty conditions.

Along this timeline something called a Human came to share space with the Antrolana tribe in Katuah. I have no real way of relating the Antrolana People's take on this development but I believe the most polite among them could not resist getting a dig in about our squalid and somewhat sordid hygenic conditions. And who could fail to blame them in this critique? A quick glance at locally available Antrolana Lira recovery plans will yield plenty of proof of the Human tribe's careless disregard for the Antrolana Lira people's dependence on water which has not yet been sh*t-enriched.

Now some of you out there may be saying, what the Eff Auntie Nantoka. You said this was going to be a tale which featured a pretty truth. I do not want to hear about endangered species living in filth and squalor. I came shopping for happy stories because I do not want to think about how very swiftly the sh*t is going down, as they say, so please avoid that theme.

Now here is the beautiful twist on the sh*t theme, friend: the tale is a pretty one because the year is 2008, a year when numerous signs and texts point to an extremely beautiful Now in which the the sh*t STOPS going down for a change, and starts going straight into a specially designed fan which will enable "Crying Helicopters" brand competitors to envision a more creative use for the resources it appropriates from sacred households.

Surrender the math and I will not only give you more tales of this aesthetic and highly practical marketing vehicle, I will tell you myself how to drive the sucker straight into an Alliens concert, or to the Spring at Ayuwa'si, or to a Thanksgiving 2.0 meal at the Earthsong kitchen, without harming a soul.

Namaste
Nantoka

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